Our son

Before moving to Paris for a year, we needed to sort out what to do with the things left behind: our house, cars and all of the “stuff” that fills our home. Belongings are relatively easy. More difficult, by far, was thinking about what our son Desmond would do and where he would go when we all left Calgary.

We planned the timing of our sabbatical around Houman’s work but also around Desmond. We didn’t want to mess with his last few years of high school. We figured that after graduation leaving town was fair game.

Now, to be clear, Desmond has always been welcome to come with us and find some kind of work or school in Paris. Or perhaps he could look into a UK based school where he could do a one-year program in preparation for university? But Desmond knew, without a doubt, what he wanted to do and saw no reason to delay. He wants to be an actor and he was advised that it is best to train in the same country where you will eventually want to work. That made his decision crystal clear: he wasn’t coming to Paris. He was staying in Canada to study theatre. 

Having no background in theatre or the arts, Houman and I were ill-equipped to provide Desmond any guidance along his chosen path. With the advice from teachers both from inside and outside of school, he made a short list of where he would like to go and applied. Unlike other university programs, getting into theatre is more about your auditions than your grades, and that leaves room for a lot of uncertainty.

I will be forever grateful for the two weekends I travelled with Desmond to Vancouver and Toronto for his auditions. In each city we toured multiple schools, looked at the potential living situations, had the good luck to reconnect with old friends and spent time imagining his future and talking about the choices he would eventually have to make. 

Right before his UBC audition, Desmond got accepted into the Ryerson Performance Acting Program. It was amazing news. We were proud and also relieved. He was accepted into university. We knew where he would be going. They had student residences so apartment hunting wasn’t required. He was excited to be headed to Toronto. 

People keep asking Desmond why he isn’t coming to Paris. He doesn’t understand the question: why would he go to Paris when he has the chance to go to university to study theatre? While we will miss him more than words can say, we wouldn’t want it any other way. It is exciting to see him follow his own path and we are lucky that we have the excitement of our own adventure to help fill the hole he will leave behind.