Daily life
I realized that I had not posted a blog for a while and was thinking about what would be the next post. Since starting the blog I have always had a few ideas queued up that I could work away on in spare minutes, but inspiration seemed to have run dry. It was puzzling to me. Life in this big, beautiful city was still very new and we have only scratched the surface of things that we can do here. Surely I had something to say?
The problem eventually became clear: September was a month of getting the girls settled in school, Houman beginning life at the hospital and me learning how to feed our family here while looking for the balance in our collective routines. Big, important things were happening but none that felt blog worthy.
When asked, what is different about life in Paris compared to Calgary, Sophia responds, “everything”. It is not a couple of big things but many, many little things that add up to a daily life that is much different from the one we knew in Canada.
Here are some of the things we’ve noticed:
Mornings start earlier with the girls and leaving the house at 7:45AM as opposed to 9AM. And our walk is 25 minutes as opposed to the two-minute walk of last year. We also walk across the Seine and look at the Eiffel Tower each day.
Packing a lunch was a dreaded job for me in Calgary. Here, the girls are eating every day at the school canteen. Yahoo!
Despite having hot lunches, when I pick them up at 3:15PM, they are starving, and I bring a goutée to sustain them over the walk home and until dinner. Where in Calgary I might insist on just fruit and yogurt after school, here it is common for the kids to have something sweet and we are fully on board.
We can walk out our door and bring home amazing food within minutes: fresh fruit, vegetables, fish, meat, roasted chickens, cheese, and bread. Yesterday there was a new addition to the street: the oyster man. He will be there three days a week from now through the winter, shucking oysters for the neighbourhood. Houman brought home 12 oysters for us to have as a quick lunch on a Saturday and when we went out Saturday night we saw people picking up their named bags of shucked oysters to take home for dinner.
We walk or take the metro everywhere we want to go and LOVE not having a car. We’ve taken an Uber twice, both when we had gone to dinner parties and were coming home after the trains stopped running.
Walking is a way of life and the natural byproduct of life in the city. In Calgary we would choose to “go for a walk” and while I loved to do that, I didn’t do it often enough. We are putting on way more kilometers that we’re used to and feeling stronger for it.
Our fridge is about half the size and what we’re used to and we have about a tenth of the freezer space. But it works because fresh food is so close at hand that we don’t need to stock up.
Dressing for the weather is a daily challenge. We find that the temperature variation throughout the day is pronounced with cool mornings and sometimes, hot afternoons. But more than that, the variations between standing in the sun and the shade are extreme and when the wind blows it makes a huge difference. We’ve decided this is why the French wear so many scarves: a daily solution to temperature management.
There was very little homework in elementary school at home. Sophia, in CM2 (grade 5) has about 30 minutes a night and spends an hour or two on the weekends. It is an adjustment to get used to giving up some of your hometime to school work but I think good preparation for what is to come.
The math is advanced compared to schools at home. The teachers are willing to help but the explanations are in French. We have introduced math practice into our routines.
Our girls’ school classes are small: 16 and 18 students, and that is split across two grades. Each girl has just two other girls their age in their class. Maybe because they are small groups or because they are all new to the school, the classes have already formed a bond and seem to play together as a group. Fingers crossed that it keeps up but we have yet to experience the “drama” that seemed to be a part of life in elementary classes at home.
You can drink wine in the parks. Yesterday was a get together for Mavis’s class and we met in a park. Snacks were laid out on a picnic blanket, the kids ran around, and the parents visited while having a civilized glass of wine.
Despite having everything close at hand, we find shopping for things other than food is very time consuming. I took for granted how easy it was for us to buy what we need at home just because of the familiarity of the shops. Shopping here is more of a project which involves researching, then exploring the options, and finally making a decision.
We have decided we are only buying things that we cannot live without (pot lids) or that are beautiful and we want to take them home (Irish blankets). In a land of abundant and beautiful everything, it is helpful to have these guiding principals.
French. This is a huge one. Houman is quite comfortable with his French now, spending all day working in the language. I am getting better but still have a long way to go. It adds a layer of complexity to living when you are never sure if you are going to be able to communicate with the people around you. Sometimes it is challenging because you need information but sometimes it is frustrating because you want to be friendly and polite but lack the vocabulary or speed to say the right thing in the right moment.
There is something about living in a rental apartment that is freeing. We do not spend time thinking about maintenance (other than for the appliances which is a real thing here because of the toll hard water can take on them) or improvements. It is a whole category of thought that takes up time and energy at home but has now made space for other things.
We are trying to be purposeful with our time here as we know it is not indefinite. Choosing the things we want to see and do is a family project and we have made lists of what we hope to experience during our year. From crossing all the bridges of Paris to exploring the wine regions, we have a lot to look forward to.
The problem is not finding things to do: it is choosing what to do. As the chief family planner, I find myself somewhat paralyzed by choice.
On a deeper note, we find our social interactions are different. We are building communities through the school and work but we notice that we do not chat with our neighbours and we do not run into people we know as we are out and about. Socializing has to be purposeful and planned. And for us, as we learn the customs for politesse, it takes more mental energy to engage with people as we don’t want to offend.
Paris is big and small at the same time. We are comfortable letting our girls go to the boulangerie on their own and sometimes I will send them home with the grocery bags while I make a few more stops. But is is also fast and loud. You need to be careful before you step onto the street. You need to be aware of the cars and the scooters. Last week we stepped out of our apartment door and Sophia was nearly mowed down by a motorized scooter who chose to drive on the sidewalk and happened to be right outside our door when she stepped out.
There are all kinds of people here: adorable french children wearing their blue and white striped shirts; cool teenagers smoking on the streets; elegant, elderly ladies walking with their market carts; homeless people sleeping in corners or on park benches; people speaking french, italian, spanish, arabic, chinese, german, you name it; of every color and from every background; and many, many tourists who seem to congregate and block certain intersections that we have learned to avoid. I love that we see and hear such variety as we move around the city and I love that our girls are being exposed to it all. It has led to some great conversations and made them much more aware of the richness and diversity in the world.
There are days when we are struck by the differences: sometimes in a positive way and sometimes less so. We have had moments where the girls are overwhelmed with homesickness and they just crave familiarity. But we have also had moments where we have dragged them out of the apartment and they have discovered a part of Paris that captures their imagination and what was meant to be a quick outing turns into hours of exploring. I feel they have grown up a lot in the time we have been here and their world view is changed. I imagine it will evolve as we become even more settled. When we came to Nice last year we embraced a family motto: Be FAP. We find it continues to be a useful tool to remind ourselves how to deal with all the changes: be flexible and positive. A simple phrase, but sums up our goals. As long as we continue to Be FAP, the changes in our daily life are manageable and sometimes even magical.
